Kick Off! - 4th Draft

KICK OFF!

Ep.1 Ser.1 – Jamie.

(Int. Jamie arrives at football training in his Mercedes. Low camera shot from rear left wheel, door opens, well dressed male steps out and walks towards the ground, walking past dozens of less expensive and less flash cars)

SCENE 1

(Jamie is the last person to arrive at the meeting room; everyone stares for a while, as Jamie looks troubled)

Jamie

Alright lads?

(Huge cheer and all team surround him)

(Jamie appears caught off guard, and does not know what is occurring)

Barry

(Whilst thrusting and grinding)

Congratulations mate! I see you have finally got on the score sheet!

(All team sport a cheeky cheer)

All Team

WHHEEEERRYYYYYYYY!!!!

Jamie

Get Lost!

(still looking troubled, shrugs off his jacket and walks towards the bar)

(They all crowd around Jamie)

Terry

Oi Oi! Whats with the boat race, I thought you’d be up in adams cause yer avin a little chavvy!

(Jamie draws a nickel plated .44 magnum handgun from his waist, fires towards the camera – back into the crowd of players. When the shot fires, the screen shoots to black, and a thud from the sound of a body droping to the floor, Ext.)

SCENE 2

(Int. Camera pans from meeting room to changing room, all the team are mocking Jamie)

Terry

I’m surprised you actually had it in ya!

Jamie

Oh thanks/

Terry

Is what you should have said to her!

All Team

WEEEEHHHHEEEEEEYYYY!!!

(Manager enters and everybody retreats to their stations, a hushed tone is ensued)

Mike

ALRIGHT LADS, settle down now, we’ve got a lot of work to do today, and we can’t have this foolishness getting in the way…now (continues rambling)

(Whilst mike is talking, Nick leans over to Jamie and begins to whisper something)

Nick

You got it?

Jamie

(looking down, suspicious) No, I told you not yet, I’m doing my best.

Nick

I told you three days, it’s been four

Jamie

I can’t give you something I haven’t got

Nick

(begins to get closer to Jamie’s face, and intimidates him extremely)

Then you shouldn’t borrow something you can’t pay back. Now you know where you can get it, you know where to drop it off, and you know when to do it, so I suggest you do it tonight, or for every day your late, I’ll take a finger from your mother’s hand, if I run out fingers I’ll take toes, and if I run out of toes I can/

Mike

OI! Are you listening or what?

Nick

(only nicks attention is directed at Mike, but he still can talk to Jamie)

Say you’re sorry

Jamie

Sorry Boss

Mike

(To Jamie) you. Outside. Now.

(Camera pans to the corridor, and finds Mike and Jamie discussing)

Mike

What the fuck was all that ab

out in there? You looked as white as a shite.

Jamie

I know boss, it’s just that.../

Mike

I mean, I know you’re not the kind of sort to say boo to a goose, but Jesus lad, it looks like the goose has crawled up your backside and stayed there!

Jamie

If you’ll just let me explain gaffer

Mike

Go on then son, I’m all ears

Jamie

Well you see, I have this predicament, and if I’m not out of it anytime soon then I’m done here. I’m done in this club, the career, the country, just I have to get out of it/

Mike

Whoa! Whoa! lad calm down, tell me what’s happened.

Jamie

I can’t boss, I just can’t

Mike

If that Nick fella is giving you any grief, just let me know son and he’s out, you came through the academy anyways and he’s only on loan from Real Betis or whatever the fuck you wanna call ‘em

Jamie

No, it’s not, I mean, it wasn’t, just, can I miss today sir? I promise I’ll put 200 in tomorrow?

Mike

Go on lad get out of here, make sure you’re alright, in fact have the week off, I’ll see at the game on Saturday

Jamie

Cheers Boss

(Jamie runs down the corridor and slams through the fire exit doors, one door falls closed, sound of American tyres screeching; close up of Mike, showing a face of disappointment)

Shot from inside changing room, all players are conversing except Nick, who awaits the door.

The door opens and in walks mike

(Mike walks slowly to middle of the room, whilst he and nick exchange dirty looks, a short silence follows)

Mike

(In a disheartened tone) alright lads, let’s get out there.

Ext.

SCENE 3

(Int. Still shot of Jamie’s house, re car drives past, panning the camera shot into the front room)

(Alex; a 22 year old woman who is Jamie girlfriend, is asleep in the living room, covered in an array of trash on the sofa)

Jamie

Right, up

Alex

(jumping up and bouncy)

What baby? Ooh you were good last night!

Jamie

We got a fucking issue on our hands

Alex

(hands on approach to Jamie)

Oooh I love it when you’re angry!

Jamie

Just shut the fuck up alright! I need some space, go clean something, or have sex with something, (increasingly getting agitated) or better yet just FUCK OFF.

Alex

Fine, I might just go to my mums today or I might go for a swim I’m not sure, what’s your mum doing today baaaabe?

Jamie

Its fuck all to do with you, now just leave me alone.

Alex

Oh. Well is this about me telling the team that I’m pregnant?

Jamie

(slowly looks round to Alex in a dumbfounded expression)

Wha, you did what?

Alex

Yeah, Nick came round earlier, looking for you, so I said you went out already

Jamie

What happened then?

Alex

He just left

Jamie

Hang on; why you would tell him you’re pregnant

Alex

Cause I am? Stoopid.

Jamie

And you told the whole team?

Alex

Yeah why?

Jamie

Who else have you got to tell?

Alex

Well your mum when I next see her (mutters to self) erm my parents and family (mutters again) you when you get back from training, your brothers, my boss/

Jamie

Wait what was that middle one?

Alex

(Realising what she’s done and begins to slow speech down)

You when you get back from training…

Jamie

Yeah.

Alex

I’m so sorry! I was gonna wait till y’/

Jamie

So the whole team new, before I did?

Alex

Well yeah bu/

Jamie

Including nick?

Alex

Obviously but you gotta realize that/

Jamie

The very same fucking bastard who has kidnapped my fucking mother?!

And he was here today?! Right we’re gone, get a bag, we’re off.

Alex

He’s do’..? wha? (begins to overreact and play on the melodrama of the situation) oh my god oh my god oh my god!

Jamie

Be quiet for fucks sake, just get in the car.

Alex

But where will we go?

Jamie

Leave that to me.

(Shot to Black)

Script internet Research

Here are a few bullet points i found out, when i was researching how to structure a T.V. script, taken from 'www.angelfire.com '

• Typeface Always use Courier 12-point font!
• First Page A screenplay begins with FADE IN:
• Last Page At the end of your script you should type The End and center it, or double space, to the far right of the page, and type FADE OUT.

How a character should be represented : 

• They must be EMPATHETIC, have an internal and external struggle. They must have anarc.
• VULNERABLE, they must tell us what their vulnerability is.
• Your character should be an UNDERDOG...
• But also be LARGER THAN LIFE.
• Give your characters STRENGTHS-Something that they are really good at, but...
• They need FLAWS that could be fatal. Characters with doubts and faults are more interesting and believable.

 

Questions to ask yourself about your script. 

1. GENRE Does your script fulfill the expectations of its particular genre?
2. CHARACTERS Are your characters memorable? Are they larger than life?
3. STRUCTURE Does it create suspense? What's the big question the audience will be wondering about throughout the series?
4. THEME What is your series really about?
5. RESOLUTION Is the Series satisfying to the very last scene?
6. MOMENTS Are there at least four or five memorable moments? Think of this as a "Trailer Moment".
7. STORY It is the point when your Character is forced to solve his/her inner conflict in order to solve the outer conflict.
8. FRESH Is your script fresh? A new perspective on the human condition.
9. SECONDARY
   CHARACTERS They must reflect the conflicts of the main Characters.

According to wikipedia, some of the steps I need to successfully writing a script are as follows :

         “Format ; At the beginning of every scene write where it is, and whether you are indoors or outdoors (Int. = Indoors Ext. = Outdoors). Stage directions are written in blocks of text spanning from the margin on the left to the margin on the right. Text is in blocks at the middle spanning from the centre (imagine the page is split into three equal thirds, you would be writing text in the center). Always have character's names in capitals unless someone is speaking.

         Genre; Choose your genre, this can totally change your audience, you can have sci-fi, adventure or something as simple as misadventures of two friends.

         Characters; Plan your characters. Get a notebook and dedicate a page to a character. Explain how they act and behave. How they talk and most importantly why. The characters are the basis of your story.

·         Plot Line; Write a basic plot line in your notepad. You'll want about 15 to 20 plot points, this may sound daft, but make sure they're in chronological order.

·   

;      Start To Write; Get your laptop, computer, book, anything! Just start writing. Use the format if you're planning on selling this. Type in courier at the font size 14.

·         Read it through; Look for character consistency, plot holes anything. Once you've read that, revise it into the second draft. Always save every draft as a different file. This is so that you can read them all through. “

how i met your mother - DVD Analysis

The genre of this text is again a 'Sitcom', with the cast of the series all sharing a bed, with only three of the characters giving a direct mode of address to the viewer in the shot, showing the the other two males who are not, seem to be looking towards the male who is, showing an expression of mockery and mischeif, reinforcing the genre of the text.

the target audience of this text appears to be a family entertainment programme, given that in the cover photo, there is a happy couple on the left of the bed, panning across to the centre, there is a male sat with a cellular phone to his ear with a 'cheeky grin', drawing in the young and modern cultured viewers as well as the dramatic melancholy prevalent in the face of the character at the right side of the bed, appealing to a parental or older audience with the use of drama and an intriguing storyline.

on the spine of the cover, at the bottom, we see the season title "The awesome Season 4", using widely used youth related idioms to again draw in the teenage-20's age of audience. The image that surrounds the season title, is a diagram that holds an indexical link to the setting of the text. There is a model of the 'Empire State Building', which is famous for being a landmark in New York City. This is a substantial addition to the cover as it contextualises the series and allows the reader to bring their own connotations of the context that has just been set.

At the top of the back cover there is a sequence of portait shots of the characters, divided by ratio of gender on either side of the obvious lead protagonist in the text. This allows the reader to become familiar with the cast before watching the episodes. Again there is an indexical link to New York City at the bottom of the cover, mirroring the one on the spine, but it is a wider scale view of the towering buildings. there is also a model of the famous 'World Trade Centre' towards the left of the cover, even though they were knocked down before the DVD was made. Although it is still there to reinforce the context of the text, and again allows the reader to be assured about where the setting is.

Scrubs DVD cover analysis

This is a DVD cover from the 5th season of the famous Hospital situation comedy, 'Scrubs'. We are first struck with the reference to the medical basis of the show, with suggestions from the costume in which the title characters are wearing, which are the "Scrubs" in which you wear if working in a hospital/Medical centre, corresponding with the title of the series. There is also medical equipment such as a stethoscope to support this. The genre of this text appears to be a ‘Situation-Comedy’. We find this out by the “situation”, being the lifestyles of working in a hospital, as we see everybody in the cover working doctors/nurses uniforms, as well as the logo that represents the hospital they work in. the comedy element is prevalent as they appear to posing with clichéd melodramatic face expressions, as well as the quote on the back cover claiming it to be “sitcom of the decade”.

The title character, is evident as he is the at centre focus of the group shot, and is holding his fist out maybe to signify a heart, to relate to the name of the hospital in which the T.V. show is based, ‘Sacred Heart Hospital’. The characters in the cover picture, seem to be taking on comical poses that relate to their characters in the series, giving the viewer an impression that this is a comedic T.V. show.

The Spine of the cover holds the industrial logos above the ‘Title Font’ image, with “the complete fifth season” below it. Giving the viewer everything they need to know if they found it upon a shelf in a store, compelling them to pick it up and read further in to the series.

On the back of the cover, there is a quote from ‘Tom Carson’, a famous critique writer from CQ magazine saying that ‘Scrubs, My own stealth nominee for sitcom of the decade.” This allows the viewer to be reassured by the quality of the text being critically acclaimed and bring the viewer closer to purchasing the DVD.

There is a sequence of frame-shots from the episodes of the DVD down the left side of the cover, allowing the viewer to see certain shots of the season, before deciding to purchase. Adjacent to the photo’s, the blurb tells us more information about the text and a brief description of the stories that will unfold.

The target audience to me would be a family entertainment text, as there appears to have representations of old and modern doctors, (Old doctor – big white lab coat and confident posture, new doctor – scrubs and a stethoscope with an expression of apprehension), this could be a recurring juxtaposition throughout the text, giving the ‘sitcom’ more appeal to younger and older viewers. There seems to be a multi-racial cast also (Donald Faison – African American, Judy Reyes - Latino Dominican, Zach Braff – Caucasian), This could also appeal to a wide ranging audience as it appears sympathetic to mixed racial views, and may hold political satire within the text.

An Idiot Abroad - DVD analysis

An Idiot Abroad - Season 1

The title of the DVD cover seems to be calming blue, with a comical font, premeditating a some comical value of the T.V. series before looking any further. The quotes below the title are the best cuttings of reviews that the maker of the DVD feels should be added to the cover to reiterate the genre of the programme, which seems to be a comedy series. "The funniest thing ive seen in 2010 - HEAT", are one of the quotes on the title page which reinforce this conception.

This is obviously aimed at an audience with family values, as it has elements of comedy, education and basic entertainment. Placed centrally in the cover page are the three characters within the show that have the most importance. we  know this by looking at costume and written text on the page. for example, the line at the top of the cover says " Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchent send..." concluding to the title of the piece, "An Idiot Abroad" as they are clearly releasing laughter and amusement in the photograph, you feel inclined to join them. The 'idiot', they are referring to is Karl Pilkington, who is in between 'Ricky and Stephen' on the cover, wearing what seems to be basic primary clothing, contrasting with the black uniform that the other two characters are wearing, making him stand out as the obvious main character in this series.

There is virtually no background image, suggesting that all we need to know about the programme to buy the DVD, is within the characters on the cover.Ricky Gervais is a renowned critically acclaimed comedian known for his razor sharp wit and satirical material, crossed with Stephen Merchant who is a famous actor and writer, giving the series some credibility and anticipation before watching it.

The spine of the cover, reinforces what is on the the front of the DVD. there is a small picture of Karl Pilkington at the top of the spine where usually you would find the industrial logo, enhancing the comedy effect of the series. below it is the dominant part of the text, the title, and the format in which the DVD is available for, for example, "blu-ray".

on the back cover, there seems to be a background shot of the 'Idiot - Karl', relaxing with a model of the globe, with an expression of somewhat despair at the idea that he has to travel the world in search for comedy value. this enhances that element of stereotypes, as we see a labelled 'idiot', not being able to comprehend a model of the globe, so this has to be funny, right?

below it are group shots of the amazing 7 wonders of the world, with a stance by Karl suggesting he is not infactuated with the wonders themselves, but the cultures around it. this shows that the T.V. show is entertaining yet informative about other adjacent cultures in the world, letting the audience get a collaborative and familiar insight to the outside world.

it later goes on to list the episodes, this i feel is a good device to use as it lets the audience or DVD buyers know what a particular episode is based on, and i feel i will be undertaking the same technique when it comes to making my own.

Third draft of script

KICK OFF!

Ep.1 Ser.1 – Jamie.

(Jamie arrives at football training in his Mercedes. Low camera shot from rear left wheel, door opens, well dressed male steps out and walks towards the ground, walking past dozens of less expensive and less flash cars)

SCENE 1

(Jamie is the last person to arrive at the meeting room; everyone stares for a while, as Jamie looks troubled)

Jamie

Alright lads?

(Huge cheer and all team surround him)

(Jamie appears caught off guard, and does not know what is occurring)

Barry

(Whilst thrusting and grinding)

Congratulations mate! I see you have finally got on the score sheet!

(All team sport a cheeky cheer)

All Team

WHHEEEERRYYYYYYYY!!!!

Jamie

Get Lost!

(still looking troubled, shrugs off his jacket and walks towards the bar)

(They all crowd around Jamie)

Terry

Oi Oi! Whats with the boat race, I thought you’d be up in adams cause yer avin a little chavvy!

(Jamie draws a nickel plated .44 magnum handgun from his waist, fires towards the camera – back into the crowd of players. When the shot fires, the screen shoots to black, and a thud from the sound of a body droping to the floor)

SCENE 2

(Camera pans from meeting room to changing room, all the team are mocking Jamie)

Terry

I’m surprised you actually had it in ya!

Jamie

Oh thanks/

Terry

Is what you should have said to her!

All Team

WEEEEHHHHEEEEEEYYYY!!!

(Manager enters and everybody retreats to their stations, a hushed tone is ensued)

Mike

ALRIGHT LADS, settle down now, we’ve got a lot of work to do today, and we can’t have this foolishness getting in the way…now (continues rambling)

(Whilst mike is talking, Nick leans over to Jamie and begins to whisper something)

Nick

You got it?

Jamie

(looking down, suspicious) No, I told you not yet, I’m doing my best.

Nick

I told you three days, it’s been four

Jamie

I can’t give you something I haven’t got

Nick

(begins to get closer to Jamie’s face, and intimidates him extremely)

Then you shouldn’t borrow something you can’t pay back. Now you know where you can get it, you know where to drop it off, and you know when to do it, so I suggest you do it tonight, or for every day your late, I’ll take a finger from your mother’s hand, if I run out fingers I’ll take toes, and if I run out of toes I can/

Mike

OI! Are you listening or what?

Nick

(only nicks attention is directed at Mike, but he still can talk to Jamie)

Say you’re sorry

Jamie

Sorry Boss

Mike

(To Jamie) you. Outside. Now.

(Camera pans to the corridor, and finds Mike and Jamie discussing)

Mike

What the fuck was all that about in there? You looked as white as a shite.

Jamie

I know boss, it’s just that.../

Mike

I mean, I know you’re not the kind of sort to say boo to a goose, but Jesus lad, it looks like the goose has crawled up your backside and stayed there!

Jamie

If you’ll just let me explain gaffer

Mike

Go on then son, I’m all ears

Jamie

Well you see, I have this predicament, and if I’m not out of it anytime soon then I’m done here. I’m done in this club, the career, the country, just I have to get out of it/

Mike

Whoa! Whoa! lad calm down, tell me what’s happened.

Jamie

I can’t boss, I just can’t

Mike

If that Nick fella is giving you any grief, just let me know son and he’s out, you came through the academy anyways and he’s only on loan from Real Betis or whatever the fuck you wanna call ‘em

Jamie

No, it’s not, I mean, it wasn’t, just, can I miss today sir? I promise I’ll put 200 in tomorrow?

Mike

Go on lad get out of here, make sure you’re alright, in fact have the week off, I’ll see at the game on Saturday

Jamie

Cheers Boss

(Jamie runs down the corridor and slams through the fire exit doors, one door falls closed, sound of American tyres screeching; close up of Mike, showing a face of disappointment)

Shot from inside changing room, all players are conversing except Nick, who awaits the door.

The door opens and in walks mike

(Mike walks slowly to middle of the room, whilst he and nick exchange dirty looks, a short silence follows)

Mike

(In a disheartened tone) alright lads, let’s get out there.

SCENE 3

Still shot of Jamie’s house, re car drives past, panning the camera shot into the front room

(Alex; a 22 year old woman who is Jamie girlfriend, is asleep in the living room, covered in an array of trash on the sofa)

Jamie

Right, up

Alex

(jumping up and bouncy)

What baby? Ooh you were good last night!

Jamie

We got a fucking issue on our hands

Alex

(hands on approach to Jamie)

Oooh I love it when you’re angry!

Jamie

Just shut the fuck up alright! I need some space, go clean something, or have sex with something, (increasingly getting agitated) or better yet just FUCK OFF.

Alex

Fine, I might just go to my mums today or I might go for a swim I’m not sure, what’s your mum doing today baaaabe?

Jamie

Its fuck all to do with you, now just leave me alone.

Alex

Oh. Well is this about me telling the team that I’m pregnant?

Jamie

(slowly looks round to Alex in a dumbfounded expression)

Wha, you did what?

Alex

Yeah, Nick came round earlier, looking for you, so I said you went out already

Jamie

What happened then?

Alex

He just left

Jamie

Hang on; why you would tell him you’re pregnant

Alex

Cause I am? Stoopid.

Jamie

And you told the whole team?

Alex

Yeah why?

Jamie

Who else have you got to tell?

Alex

Well your mum when I next see her (mutters to self) erm my parents and family (mutters again) you when you get back from training, your brothers, my boss/

Jamie

Wait what was that middle one?

Alex

(Realising what she’s done and begins to slow speech down)

You when you get back from training…

Jamie

Yeah.

Alex

I’m so sorry! I was gonna wait till y’/

Jamie

So the whole team new, before I did?

Alex

Well yeah bu/

Jamie

Including nick?

Alex

Obviously but you gotta realize that/

Jamie

The very same fucking bastard who has kidnapped my fucking mother?!

And he was here today?! Right we’re gone, get a bag, we’re off.

Alex

He’s do’..? wha? (begins to overreact and play on the melodrama of the situation) oh my god oh my god oh my god!

Jamie

Be quiet for fucks sake, just get in the car.

Alex

But where will we go?

Jamie

Leave that to me.

(Shot to Black)